Thursday, December 20, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Friday, November 9, 2007
Friday, November 2, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Kelly = Sleezy
Kellys are most up for sex
Thursday, October 25, 2007
A famous Kelly: Kelly Osbourne Men looking for casual sex are most likely to hit on girls called Kelly, according to a new survey.
Kelly topped a list of girls names that men reckoned were most up for sex with Tanya coming second, Debs or Debbie third, Becky fourth and Steph fifth.
Michelle, Tina, Lisa, Carly and Nicky also make the top ten of names boys think are most up for sex.
“It's strange how certain names have connotations. If guys have a good experience with a girl of a certain name, they tend to remember them. It's bad news if your name is Kelly, though,” said John Sewell, a spokesman for OnePoll.com who quizzed 1,000 men for the survey.
Women were quizzed on the name of guys who they thought would most likely to try it on the first time they met. Lee came first, Dave second, Andy third, Steve fourth and Kevin fifth in the poll of male sleazes.
Gary, Paul, Darren, Jason and Ben made up the rest of the list.
“Girls said these are names they would avoid at all costs on nights out.”
Thursday, October 25, 2007
A famous Kelly: Kelly Osbourne Men looking for casual sex are most likely to hit on girls called Kelly, according to a new survey.
Kelly topped a list of girls names that men reckoned were most up for sex with Tanya coming second, Debs or Debbie third, Becky fourth and Steph fifth.
Michelle, Tina, Lisa, Carly and Nicky also make the top ten of names boys think are most up for sex.
“It's strange how certain names have connotations. If guys have a good experience with a girl of a certain name, they tend to remember them. It's bad news if your name is Kelly, though,” said John Sewell, a spokesman for OnePoll.com who quizzed 1,000 men for the survey.
Women were quizzed on the name of guys who they thought would most likely to try it on the first time they met. Lee came first, Dave second, Andy third, Steve fourth and Kevin fifth in the poll of male sleazes.
Gary, Paul, Darren, Jason and Ben made up the rest of the list.
“Girls said these are names they would avoid at all costs on nights out.”
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Good Old Florida Education
Dolphins LB Channing Crowder, who appears likely to start in the middle Sunday against the Giants with Zach Thomas ailing, says he didn't know until Tuesday that people in London speak English.
"I couldn't find London on a map if they didn't have the names of the countries," he said. "I swear to God. I don't know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I know London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That's the closest thing I know to London. He's black, so I'm sure he's not from London. I'm sure that's a coincidental name."
"I couldn't find London on a map if they didn't have the names of the countries," he said. "I swear to God. I don't know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I know London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That's the closest thing I know to London. He's black, so I'm sure he's not from London. I'm sure that's a coincidental name."
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
God I love craigslist
THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
I'm overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with
services or
other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
I'm overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with
services or
other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Man filed report for his lost cocaine
Updated: 9:45 p.m. ET Sept 19, 2007
SEATTLE - Federal agents thought there was something fishy about Leroy Carr.
On four occasions since last December, Carr either crossed the Canadian border or was found near it with thousands of dollars in cash, according to a complaint filed in U.S. District Court. He also sometimes carried night vision goggles and a GPS device programmed with coordinates for a well-known drug-smuggling trail.
But Carr refused to speak with Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents, and they let him go — until he called to ask if they had seen his cocaine.
According to the complaint, he told agents that on Aug. 3, he had stashed two blue backpacks containing 68 pounds of cocaine by the entrance to a Boy Scout camp near the Canadian border. When he returned the next day, they were gone, he said.
Carr, of suburban Federal Way, asked if ICE could put out a news release saying that federal agents had seized the drugs. That way, according to the complaint, the organization he was working for would believe his statements that he hadn't stolen them.
Two weeks later, a Boy Scout ranger found the backpacks, which were dry and in good shape, and called police.
Carr was arrested last weekend on a federal charge of cocaine possession with intent to distribute. He made his initial appearance in U.S. District Court in Seattle on Monday and is scheduled for a detention hearing Thursday.
Carr's attorney, Nancy Tenney, was out of the office Wednesday morning and did not immediately return a phone call seeking comment.
(http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20878621/?gt1=10357)
SEATTLE - Federal agents thought there was something fishy about Leroy Carr.
On four occasions since last December, Carr either crossed the Canadian border or was found near it with thousands of dollars in cash, according to a complaint filed in U.S. District Court. He also sometimes carried night vision goggles and a GPS device programmed with coordinates for a well-known drug-smuggling trail.
But Carr refused to speak with Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents, and they let him go — until he called to ask if they had seen his cocaine.
According to the complaint, he told agents that on Aug. 3, he had stashed two blue backpacks containing 68 pounds of cocaine by the entrance to a Boy Scout camp near the Canadian border. When he returned the next day, they were gone, he said.
Carr, of suburban Federal Way, asked if ICE could put out a news release saying that federal agents had seized the drugs. That way, according to the complaint, the organization he was working for would believe his statements that he hadn't stolen them.
Two weeks later, a Boy Scout ranger found the backpacks, which were dry and in good shape, and called police.
Carr was arrested last weekend on a federal charge of cocaine possession with intent to distribute. He made his initial appearance in U.S. District Court in Seattle on Monday and is scheduled for a detention hearing Thursday.
Carr's attorney, Nancy Tenney, was out of the office Wednesday morning and did not immediately return a phone call seeking comment.
(http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20878621/?gt1=10357)
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
The Gorilla & the Red Neck
A small zoo in Kentucky obtained a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem.
The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:
1. "First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
2. "Second", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this." The keeper again readily agreed to this.
3. "Third", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.
4. And last, Bobby Lee said, "I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00."
Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem.
The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:
1. "First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
2. "Second", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this." The keeper again readily agreed to this.
3. "Third", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.
4. And last, Bobby Lee said, "I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00."
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Walmart
A loud, unattractive, mean woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The Wal-Mart Greeters says "Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?" The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't. Oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the Hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?
"I'm neither blind nor stupid," replied the greeter. "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice."
The Wal-Mart Greeters says "Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?" The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't. Oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the Hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?
"I'm neither blind nor stupid," replied the greeter. "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice."
Birth of a New Season
Don't expect to see your boyfriends till early February unless you've got on your favorite jersey and are standing by with a case of bud light (and maybe some wings). Yes it's that time again... football season! And that means Sundays are Holy days again. Where we pay homage to LaDainian Tomlinson, and share communion with chips and beer. Get excited; It starts tonight!
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/schedule
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Miss Teen South Carolina
Wow, I sure hope she can help "the Iraq" and "South Africa" someday with her crown!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww
Brilliant Ads
Here are some of the best... http://inventorspot.com/articles/taking_transportation_next_level_6455
Thrift Shop Experience
The Borrowed LP is a themed, 12-track mixtape with instros taken from Gang Starr’s “The Ownerz.” Each song works as part of a fictional night at a college house party, linked together with short interludes to help flesh out the story. At 45-minutes, the mixtape is quick, but it’s a thorough dose of hip hop. Definitely has the boom bap sound that defines Primo’s music but it’s also got a mashed-up quality to it – think Slug meets Lupe at Vince Vaughn’s house. With Guiliani playing beerpong on the deck. With the Bush twins.
You can download The Borrowed LP here – http://www.zshare.net/download/3461317b97639b/
You can download The Borrowed LP here – http://www.zshare.net/download
Best Japanese Television Clips... EVERRR
This is why TV is better in Japan...
If I only knew what they were saying!
Human Tetris
A different way of playing baseball
Tongue Twisters
Hung Like a Horse
There was a chicken and a horse playing together on a farm one day. The horse fell into a mud pit and yelled to the chicken to run to the house and get the farmer. The chicken ran to the house and the farmer was nowhere to be found. So, it got into the farmer's BMW and pulled the horse out with it.
The next day the chicken and the horse were playing on the farm again. This time the chicken fell into the mud pit and yelled to the horse to get help. So, the horse stood over the mud pit and told the chicken to grab on to his penis and he'd pull him out. The chicken grabbed on and, indeed, the horse pulled him out.
The moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.
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